I've done the maths and after childcare, commuting and the extra food/clothing costs, going back to work would earn me about £200 a month net. I know there's more to it than money but it's really disheartening. Has anyone found a way through this?
This is SO common and nobody talks about it enough. A few things that helped us: Tax-Free Childcare (government tops up 20% of costs up to £500 per quarter per child), Universal Credit childcare element if eligible, and checking if your employer offers childcare salary sacrifice.
The 15/30 hours free childcare is being extended — from Sept 2024, 15 hours is available from 9 months old and 30 hours from 3 years. Worth checking what you're currently eligible for on the Childcare Choices website.
Also think about the longer game. Childcare costs reduce significantly as kids get older. You're not just earning £200/month now — you're maintaining your career so that in 3 years you can earn much more. That's really hard to hold onto when you're in the thick of it, but it's true.
I also found that going back actually helped me mentally, even when financially it barely made sense. Having adult conversation and a sense of professional identity was worth a lot to me personally. Not the right answer for everyone but worth weighing.